April Fools: Celebrating Things Bosses Said that Inspired Good Employees … to Quit
We have all heard stories of the truly egregious things that supervisors have said (and done) to subordinates that make us wonder how they were ever put in a position of authority. In cases like intimidation, harassment, claiming subordinates’ work as their own, engaging in falsehoods, playing favorites, pitting peers against each other, etc. there is no excuse.
But when I asked people for their experiences, I was surprised that the common theme that ran through so many of the experiences that they shared were not the ‘big’ things, but rather the unwitting things said and done by most likely well-meaning bosses. These supervisors may find themselves losing loyalty and the passion of those in their department (and sometimes even their ‘star’ performers’) by underestimating how much the little things that they say can negatively impact those who report to them. Since most people still report that they stay — or leave — a job because of their supervisor, I thought it would be enlightening to share some of these disempowering and counter-productive things that bosses have said to their subordinates.
I wonder how many of the bosses would be surprised to know that their comments still ‘sting’ (in some cases many years later).
One caveat, while these are presented as quotes, the sentiment behind each one was shared more than once, so if you think it refers to you specifically, (a) it doesn’t and (b) if you think it could, you probably should take it to heart. (My snarky comments are added).
1. “Our most valuable asset has to be (names of facilities/operations) <brief pause> … oh, yes, and our people.” (It’s never good for morale when your people are clearly an afterthought.)
2. “You’re too valuable in what you’re doing to be given a promotion.” (What the employee heard: “You’ll have to go somewhere else to be rewarded.” They did.)
3. “Our goal is to offer salaries that are competitive for our industry” (Aspiring to provide ‘average’ rewards doesn’t inspire ‘excellent’ or ‘above expectations’ effort.)
4. “Don’t give me any suggestions — anything you could have thought of I’ve already considered and discarded.” (Here’s a suggestion, don’t give invitations to bring the ideas to those who might be more receptive, such as your competitors.)
5. “The job you applied for was a lateral move, so there’s no reason to be disappointed that you didn’t get it.” (Sometimes I new title isn’t the motivation for employees to seek opportunities.)
6. “Why should we invest in our employees developing new skills? They’ll just take the knowledge and go elsewhere.” (What employee heard: “Go somewhere where they will invest in you and your future.”)
7. “If you help me survive this change in leadership, the first thing I’ll do is get (name of colleague) the raise they deserve … and (second name) … and, you, of course.” (Funny thing about this one was, that the new leader had approached the employee who was offered this ‘deal’ about taking the boss’ job…)
8. “We can discuss your performance review, but I cannot change the overall rating because it has already been submitted.” (so if you convinced me that I was wrong about a rating, I’ll just randomly lower another section…)
9. “You’re paid to do… not to think.” (okay, boss, I’ll ask you about EVERY decision from this point forward.)
In addition to these things that bosses shouldn’t have said, I’d like to add one more very salient point.
10. “The worst thing a boss ever said to me was… nothing, not even a peep.”
Do these sound familiar? What have you heard (either directly or indirectly)? Anyone willing to share things that they said as a supervisor and later regretted?